Love

I stayed home from work today not feeling very well at all, the dramatic weather changes managed to give me a pretty nasty cold accompanied by a fever. Then I hear the awful news about Japan. Please pray for everyone who has been affected by this terrible disaster.

Whenever I tell someone, "Hey I started a blog you should check it out!" They always ask me what it is about, I tell them and then they say "Oh, a recipe blog." Yes, I will be sharing recipes but not all the time.  I am not a chef and do not claim to be a chef. I think my mom put it perfectly "a blog for women of all ages." This isn't just about cooking. I would like to say it's about how to be a woman (and to all my male followers, I am pretty confident you will learn from this too) in 2011 with all this craziness going on in the world. That brings me to today’s blog. Remember when I said there would be times when I will just be talking to you? This is one of those times. I want to add that I am a Christian, even though this is not a blog about being a Christian or a faith inspired blog, I think it is important that you all know that because it is who I am and there are times when I will be referencing God.

What is love? It is a crazy mixed emotion four letter word that we have been being told since we were born.

There is a parent’s love. A love so deep and unconditional that words cannot describe this love. I am not a parent so I have not experienced this love. I have 9 nieces and nephews that I love very much and so I am going to key into that love when I talk about a parents love. The very second a woman learns that she is pregnant she feels love; no matter what other emotions are there she always feels love. Love for her child that has just began growing. Then the baby grows and the love grows with it. A woman has this baby, the baby becomes a child, a teenager, and eventually an adult and that mother’s love grows deeper and deeper year after year. A father’s love is one of protection. Fathers love their children unconditionally also but it is a different love than a mother. Men love differently all together. Our parents are the first to love us and are usually the first we love. They are also the ones to love us no matter what.  Stand by us. Watch us make mistakes but are sure there to help us pick up the pieces. A parent’s love is so complex. I hope that one day I get to experience this love and can elaborate more on this.

There is sibling or family love. I come from one of the largest families I have ever seen so I understand this. I have two sisters and two brothers. My older sister and brother are half siblings but growing up it never mattered. We all lived together and we all got into trouble just the same, it made no difference. Siblings are the longest friendship you will ever have. They are there for everything. Every tough time, happy time, and sad time they are there. My older sister was a source of support that I needed growing up. Heck, she still is! My younger brother and sister are a riot. I am their big sister, they come to me when they need something, and it’s the way of life. I had to show the most amount of love that I have ever shown to someone to my little brother a few years ago. It is not my story to tell so I will not. But, I did one of the hardest things I have ever done for love, even to this day I still get very emotional thinking about it. My big brother is just that, a big brother. Anyone who has a big brother knows what I am saying. For a few years it was just he and I at home, I was a toddler but I think that is one of the reasons we had a stronger relationship growing up. My relationship with him is a complicated one; even so I would do anything for him. Siblings are your best friends. I love mine very much and will always be there for them.

Family love. My extended family is gigantic. Just on one half of my moms family there are my great-grandparents, both in there 80's and just celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. My family is the two of them, their 7 kids and spouses, thirty-some odd grandchildren (my moms generation), sixty-some odd great great grandkids, and about a dozen great grandchildren. My mom is one of four kids; her dad was one of 13 kids. My dad is one of 8 kids. Needless to say there are a lot of people. And we don't just know about each other. No, we have family reunions; once a year, every year. We have family bar-b-ques throughout the summer. Basically, we know each other. Let me tell you there is so much love at the family reunions. Everyone is so happy to see each other. The kids are playing, the women are talking and the men are grilling. It's so refreshing. I look forward to these every year and get so happy just thinking about them. Family, immediate or extended, is there for you when you need them. Your graduations, marriage, moving, kids, all those great things. They are there for the terrible things as well. The things we all pray we do not have to deal with. Death, divorce, foreclosure, hospitalization, terrible, heart-breaking things. That is what family is for; embrace your family and love them.

Having friends and being friends is a love similar to siblings and families but not the same. In the post title "The Beginning" I stated that I have a great group of friends who have been an incredible source of support recently. 2010 was an interesting year for my husband and me. We got married! It was so amazing. At the same time, late 2009 my father-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. So while planning our wedding we had to deal with chemo and radiation. Luckily, his dad was able to make to the wedding. And Nic and his dad were even able to go to a football game in late October. That same weekend another tumor was discovered and unfortunately 6 weeks later he passed, right before Christmas. Our friends were incredible during that time, they still are. They have shown us so much support and love. They are a great group of friends, I thank them so much for helping us get through this.  The love you show your friends is very different than what you show your siblings in one very large way. If my brother is being an idiot, I straight up tell him, "You're an idiot." I know that he might be upset but in a short amount of time he will be over it, honestly it might not affect him at all. I have some friends that I can do that with but not all. You tell your friend "You're an idiot" and you might not have a friend anymore. I could very easily tell my sibling that they are making a huge a mistake with whom they are dating; I know that they would listen to me and actually take into consideration what I am saying. Some of my friends will react that way but some will not. I have one friend that I call my "friend soul mate," from the moment we met we just clicked. I can tell her anything and she can do the same for me. We know that we will always be there for each other. She is getting ready to embark on an incredible journey. I am so happy for her but I am going to miss her so very much. There is a line in every friendship that cannot be crossed. Learning where that line is is very important. Learning how to just shut up and be there when they need you is also incredibly important. That is love.

There is the love of a significant other. Whether you are 15 or 105, you love someone. The teenage love is not the same as the love shared between a couple who have celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, but that does not mean it needs to be discredited. My sister and her husband started dating in High School got married the summer after she graduated. Ten years later they are still married with a beautiful little girl and have one of the best relationships I have ever seen. Love does not know any age. It also does not know time. How many couples do we know get divorced after 20+ years of marriage? The love of a significant other differs for everyone. Every relationship and marriage is different. However they should contain the same stuff. Open communication, passion, and honesty. I love my husband more and more everyday. We bicker like none other, but we are always honest with one another. If I am doing something that drives him crazy, is annoying, or just plain wrong he tells me. If he is being a jerk I tell him. I know that other people judge our relationship because we are always bickering but we have learned so much about each from that. I am an emotional person. It's better for me to express myself than hold it. If I was to hold in every emotion I would literally explode and bad things would happen. Nic understands that, embraces it, and loves me for it. He balances out my crazy emotionalness. He is incredible to me. I was recently asked what is the most romantic thing he has done. Nic does not do big romantic gestures but rather smaller things. He opens my car door every time we drive his car somewhere. I get a back massage or foot massage at least once a week if not more. He is truly an amazing man.

The last kind of love I will discuss is a child's love. Children love so innocently and purely. I love when I go home and my nieces and nephews run up to me and give me the biggest hugs. My 8-year-old niece recently sent me the cutest postcard. I took that postcard to work to make me smile when I am having a rough day. I love those kids more than anything and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for them. They bring me so much joy just being around them. Children do not know the ugliness of the world. Their love is great. I think it would do everyone some good to spend a day experiencing the love of a child.

Growing up in a home that went to Church regularly taught me so much about love. Even when things weren't good at home, I had the love of God and the love of that Church that I grew up in.

Love is a complex emotion. It is not always easy to love someone even after they have hurt you. Tough love is so hard. Everyone has someone to love and someone to love him or her back. It doesn't always have to be a romantic love. I could go on and on about all the different kinds of love. For me personally, I love the way I do because it is what I know.